As perfectionist or we see things so black and white.
We think things like "If I don't get this right, I'm a failure."
"If people don't like me, there is something wrong with me."
"l i can live my passions or be a good mom."
"If I am healthy I will miss out on the things I love."
"If I heal from my pain I might expect too much of myself or others might expect more from me and I can't handle that."
We get stuck in an Either/or Mentality. We feel like there are only two outcomes - a good and a bad. We don't consider any kind of middle ground, and things always feel extreme.
But what if we can shift our expectations? A shift doesn't mean that we lower them, simply take a new perspective on them to serve us better (and actually allow us to get what we want).
What if we can have both & More?
Maybe being a good mom for me is showing my kids I can also live my passions.
I can fail and be stronger because of it.
I actually need to fail in order to learn.
If I am healthy I still get to eat a lot, maybe even more, and I can still eat the things I love.
If I heal from my pain and get healthy, I can learn to still say "no" to things I don't want to do.
While I won't have an excuse holding me back, I do have a choice which is so much more empowering.